Question: "Can I ask God to deliver a message to a loved one who has died?"
Answer: Some people who have lost loved ones deeply desire to speak with them again. Some wonder if it is okay to ask God to give a message to their loved one in heaven. To be clear, there is no specific Bible verse that speaks directly for or against this idea. However, there are some biblical principles to consider.
First, Scripture says we are not to attempt communicating with the spirits of the dead. According to Old Testament Jewish laws, attempting to do so was punishable by death (Deuteronomy 18:11). God also judged Saul for this practice (1 Samuel 28). Since we are not to speak with spirits or attempt to contact the dead, it is wrong to pray directly to departed loved ones. It would also seem to follow that asking God to speak to the spirits of loved ones on our behalf is neither helpful nor necessary.
Second, there’s no need to relay messages to people in heaven because those loved ones who are now with the Lord are not separated from us forever. Believers will one day reunite with loved ones in heaven. Instead of attempting to communicate a message to them now, we can look forward to something much better—seeing them again face-to-face in the presence of the Lord. Revelation 21:4 promises that in the end, “‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
Third, we can always come to God with our hurts and pain, knowing He perfectly understands how we feel. When we lose a loved one, the pain can be overwhelming. We want to communicate with the person or reconnect in some way, knowing things are not the same without him. God calls us to turn to Him in these times of pain. He is our comforter and healer. When we trust in Him, He can provide the help we need to carry on despite the painful loss of a loved one. We can rest assured that God is comforting our loved ones in heaven with a perfect consolation; any supposed comfort they may derive from our personal messages would pale in comparison.
It is not a good decision to ask Jesus to be our telephone operator or personal courier. After all, He has already promised believers will be together again someday. Death is a natural part of life in a fallen world, though it is often difficult to handle. It is best to deal with separation from our loved ones in a way that honors Christ and gives all glory to Him. There is no reason to ask God to deliver our messages to loved ones in heaven.