Question: "Does the Bible say anything about making a second marriage a success?"

Answer:

Only two people in the Bible are specifically said to have remarried after the death of a spouse: Abraham to Keturah (Genesis 25:1) and Ruth to Boaz (Ruth 4:13). In neither case does the Bible describe the quality of the second marriage. The Bible nowhere depicts a person getting remarried after a divorce. But, whether a second marriage follows a divorce or the death of a spouse, there are biblical principles that apply to making a second marriage a success.

Whether it is a first, second, or third marriage, husbands are to sacrificially love their wives (Ephesians 5:25) and wives are to graciously submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22). A husband and his wife are to view the marriage as permanent and inseparable aside from death (Matthew 19:6). Husbands and wives are to love one another, forgive one another, and seek to respect and understand one another (Ephesians 5:33; 1 Peter 3:7).

Second marriages often result in blended families, and that itself can produce a lot of stress. The leave and cleave principle is crucially important. The marriage is to take priority over all other familial relationships, as only in marriage are two people one flesh. The conflicts that often arise within a blended family must be dealt with in unity.

It is very important that husbands and wives in second marriages do not compare their new spouses with their prior spouses. Doing so leads to nothing but bitterness, jealousy, and unrealistic expectations. A new spouse is not the same person as the prior spouse and should not be expected to be. Whether the prior marriage was amazing or terrible, the emotions and pains should not be transferred to the second marriage.

Above all, the key to making a second marriage a success is to commit the marriage to God and rely on Him for the grace and strength that are needed. A marriage is intended to illustrate Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:29–32). Only through Christ can a marriage be all that God intends it to be. Also, in any marriage, when difficulties arise, couples should seek wise counsel from a pastor and/or Christian counselor (Proverbs 15:22). Understanding what God says about marriage and submitting the marriage to Him is the key to make any marriage a success.



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